coming out

i've been hearing about the sun,
but never felt it's warmth.
i've never felt cool raindrops
falling on my face.
i've never been on stage,
performing for a large audience,
preffering the backstage,
and hating the spotlight.

now,the time is ripe for me to come out.

i want to climb a mountain.
i want to find the fountain of youth;
to be reborn.

i need to run and win.
i need to rise and shine.

am coming out.

the decision

this is a story a child;a child who was brought into this world by two parents,but grew up with the love of only one.

this child grew up with a completely different view of the world.granted,he participated in the normal childhood activites:crying,laughing,playing and fighting with his friends,but he felt different

he always had a feeling that his family was different.he asked himself many questions,came up with varying answers,but none seemed to be the right one.

he was confused.he was bewildered.he sank into himself,alone,in unfathomable darkness.the outside world only saw what they expected;a man.on the inside he was crying,but he had to portray the perfect image that society wanted to see.

the child matured,but the fears did not disappear.he was handsome,and everybody loved him,moreso the girls.but he was still empty on the inside.

he feared the future and what it might bring.how would he deal with new situations and challenges?would he emerge victorious? was he strong enough?

then one day,the future finally arrived,but it had overtones of the past that he wanted to forget.a past that still gave him nightmares.a painful past.

on that day,someone came calling at their home.since the young man always looked at himself in the mirror,one thing struck him immediately;he closely resembled this man.the realisation hit him like train on full speed.

the visitor moved forward as if to hug him,but the young man moved back a few steps.the visitor said softly,'my son'.

hate welled inside the young man's heart.then he felt a hand on his shoulder,turned and looked into his mom's eyes.there he saw the struggle,the tears,the pain that she had gone through bringing him up.then he saw the love in lighting her face.

he then looked  at the stranger.there he saw what he never had and would never need.

he made a decision there and then.

life

if only life was as assured as the rising of the sun
if only life had a rehearsal,then mine would be a
blockbluster
i would be up in the skies,
i would never have to tell lies
all would be perfect.

if only life was a bit fair,
there would be no plain
people and those with flair
there would be no blonde
and kinky hair,
we would all be equal.

if only i had been told this was
how life would be
i would have requested to be born a bee
my work would be to buzz around and make
sweet things
i would happy to show off my wings,
and maybe i would be jealous of butterfly's wings.
but that's life.ain't it?

loneliness

what is love?a question that many people ask themselves.

is it the increased heart rate whenever you see someone? is it the fond memories that are retained in you when someone close disappears from your life?is it good sex that brings about love?

please answer me

a newspaper article on saturday got me thinking;it also made tempers flare.a good ingredient for a really boring weekend for me.

a kenyan minister came out openly to support gays and lesbians.the backlash was immediate;preachers and muslim imams came out to fiercely criticise her.they also called on the president to sack her.never mind that those same preachers and imams were not seeing eye during the referendum campaigns(something about whether kadhi's courts were to be included in the new constitution).the issue of gayism was also a hot topic during that referendum.something about vested interests?

that esther murugi i.e the minister understands gay people shouldn't be a surprise.she is  one down to earth lady.so much that even as a minister,she still finds time to walk the streets and mingle with her constituents;unlike those 'mheshimiwas' or 'honourables' who move around in posh cars surrounded by  beefy security guards.
anyway,it remains to be seen whether our laid back president will lift a finger against the minister or will remain his usual quiet self and let the storm blow itself over.

this is for my mom.
you give me all your
love,
you've always been there
for me,
not forgetting the nine
months that you carried
me.

mom,i know that there are times
i've let you down.
but life is a battle that i intend
to win,
with you love and support.

pray for me,
support me,
correct me,
mom.

i love you mom.